Once upon a time in the city of Lagos, where almost all girls are yellow (on social media) and all guys are ballers. There lived a young lady with the brightest smile I’ve ever seen. We met at a social gathering. She was standing next to me, so I just felt it was going to be rude not talking to this young lady. So I said, "Hi, My name is…"
She was friendly, laughed, and smiled, made it easy to quickly move past the awkward stage and really get deep into the interesting conversations.
She told me about her job, school, family, friends, and how she moved back to Lagos not too long ago and she was totally loving it. I was lost in our conversation, totally forgot about the girl I was initially eyeing in one corner. I couldn’t focus on anything else; I guess it was her hypnotic smile (or maybe it was the straw she was circling round her drink 🤷♂️ ).
I left that place with her on my mind. I even told my friend, “Damn! I think I just spoke to my future wife.” To which that one just laughed, “Na today” 🙄.
But I knew there was just something about this girl. It was beyond her beauty, not even that hourglass body or the problem she was carrying behind that I seemed to want to solve so badly.
I didn’t get her number because I didn’t want to seem too forward. Also, so if we ever bump into each other again, then I’d know it’s real.
Oya, the real truth. I asked but she just laughed and turned to say something to her friend, who she had been ignoring, and me, I was just there with my phone out in the cold. I couldn’t sleep that night. I had to meet this girl again. I gats to! I made it my mission. This Lagos wasn’t going to rest.
…all I had to do was ask my friend. He knew someone who knew someone who knew her. This person gave me her number. Now, calling someone who didn't give you their number is very tricky. It could easily go in any direction. So I asked her friend to invite her over instead, which that one gladly accepted. The evening we went out, I went with my guy so it was four of us in Churrasco. The ladies ordered drinks, ‘Incredible Hulk,’ and we ordered Long Island. She laughed, I was like, “What’s funny?” She was like, “Why are you ordering a girl’s drink?” I’m like 🙊😱 “Long Island in Lagos will feck you up!” She was like, “Yeah, yeah, you should ask for pineapple and umbrella straw to complete the look” 💁♀️.
I’m like, “AH!”, she’s like, “I bet your pants are pretty tight too” 🤦 We all laughed. This lady got jokes.
So I said, “You know what, let’s switch drinks and after this giant glass of Long Island you’ll tell me if you still think it’s a girly drink.” ‘Cause me I didn't know the strength of a drink determined the gender, lol.
By the end of that night, we were at the back of the car. My friend was driving, the girl’s friend was in front, while the girl was at the back. We were aggressively making out. The cruise was real. We dropped her off and went home.
